"Just so we both understand, stay on your side of the fence." April 20, 2015

A couple months ago our President asked us to study the Christ like attributes in Preach My Gospel and he wanted us to choose an attribute that we could work on. I chose charity because I really hate people. Not a lot of people; like 30, 45 at most. That's not even tumor inducing, and it's mostly other missionaries. So I'm sitting in this interview with our mission president and we're talking about charity, and I have a sneaking suspicion that someone is listening in. I can't quite peg who it is, but I know that something is off. We finish up the interview, I commit to working on charity (this would be my down fall, more on that later) and leave. This was in my last area in Moreno Valley. When I got transferred to my current area, Wildomar, one of the first things I did was go around to meet everyone. The movers and shakers of the ward, the big players, in other words: the Bishop's wife. 

I heard somethings about her and how she has literally offended an upwards of 25 people in the ward. I don't know about you, but I feel like that is an amount of people you have to try to offend. That doesn't just happen. If it does, you are an insanely cantankerous person. A woman after my own heart. So, after 3 months of serving for in this ward, I grow a knot in my heart that I can't undo by myself. I find that this knot is forming whenever the Bishop's wife is talking. About anything. This woman could be talking about my most favorite thing, and I would find myself hating it. "Oh! I just love Saltine Crackers!" ,she would say gleefully as if she had just found a cure for cancer. And I would find myself think, "I bet you do, you cantankerous wench. I hope your blood pressure sky rockets." Then one morning I'm sleeping through my personal study (studying Lehi's dream, if you will) and "pondering" about the word charity. Then it occurs to me: the Lord was listening in on my on my interview with President! That is sooooooo like Him! He would listen in on my interview. This woman has found ways to piss me off about things I didn't even know I could be pissed about. Missions are funny that way. They put you in contact with people that you have no control over, and the solace that you can take from it is that if you want, you will never have to talk to that person ever again. I just hope that someone like her isn't my mother in-law. A couple nights ago she had the audacity to say, "If a family falls apart, I will guarantee that it's because the mother has given up." I mentally checked out at that point. It's like when you're playing a video game and you get a score so high it flips back to zero. My brain just shut down. And I'm here to tell you that if you close your eyes, it's really not that bad.
Yours truly,
Cody

Editors note: This is Cody, this is who he is, take it with a grain of salt. We all have those people in our lives that we wouldn't mind pushing down the stairs like a slinky!

"We're all paying heavy costs, so leave your speeches with your soapbox."

Hey, all. (That means you too, jerk. Who do you think you are thinking you're so special that you can glance at this and not read it? Foolio.)

This last week was good and busy. Taking over the other Elder's side of the ward means twice the work. I have so much to do that I don't know where to start. That's not a bad thing. Haha. I've never really had that in my mission. People just get rolled over in the schedule. 
Anyway, the twins dropped us this week. The essential basis for them dropping us is that they don't believe that Joseph Smith is a prophet and don't think that they can continue to investigate if they don't have that witness. It's pretty dumb. They're just not ready yet, they will be, but not today. We met with Thu Ha and she's on date for the 17th, It's been waayyyyy too long. She's been investigating since like October On Saturday day we did a service project for the city of Lake Elsinore. It was at this old run down Naval Academy. We cleaned a strip of highway right outside the academy. I was wearing a shirt, then my hoodie, then a green t-shirt that they gave us, then a florescent green safety vest on top of all that. You know, I always promised myself that I would never be that guy who wore a t-shirt over a hoodie, but lo and behold: there I was being that very thing that I swore I'd never be. But this time, I was wielding an industrial strength weed whacker, so they world was at my command at that point. Dummies. Shoulda known better. They'll learn next time. Which reminds me: THEY GAVE ME AN INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH WEED WHACKER! I broke it on a tree/weed thingy, though. A weed that was so advanced that it had a trunk. I was thinking, "Ya know what Elder Greenburg?" And responded out loud, "What, Elder Greenburg?" Only to think, "We could probably cut that weed down with this weed whacker. It's a weed and it needs to be whacked Godfather style. This is literally the tool that has been invented for this job." As it turns out, it could not be hewn down by mans gaudy inventions. But lets not focus on the things that I do incorrectly, those are besides the point. It was great. We found a bunny that was straight roadkill. It's head fell off. Someone said that we should try to reclaim its foot (from what? the grave? that's what resurrection is for, dummy!) for luck, until I pointed out that if it was dumb enough to get hit by a car, it probably wasn't that lucky to start with. And well, you know, rabies. It was sickkkkk (in both senses. English is an odd language). There was all this graffiti on the back of the academy that they were putting on. It was being put on by a professional graffiti collective. They were tight. #Letterheads 

Anyway, 
Peace.
Cody

"We all missed something big when we thought, 'Home is where the heart is.' Anatomy suggests to me it's something that I'm stuck with, thankfully. The door's still open but we've moved on. It doesn't need an address just to be considered a home."

Cali....in disguise

So this week was fun. There was a stake conference that Elder D. Zachary Smith of the Seventy presided over. His wife was so funny. She was such a good speaker. He was really good too. It was cool to see the Stake Presidency speak. They're all really good guys. Grant accepted a baptismal date for this coming Saturday, but he may not make it for a couple of things. Nothing big, just paperwork and stuff like that. It was so cool how he got his witness. We were coming home from dinner one night and Elder Felix said, "Let's stop by Grant and Gavin and see how they're doing. We haven't seen them yet this week." So we go over and we had a couple of potentials in that apartment complex that we ran into. We some return appointments. Then we go over to Grant and Gavin's. We knock and wait. And wait, and wait. ...and wait. They take forever answering the door. For real. One time we knocked on their door, waited, waited. Then decided that we'd go around the building and try a potential. We knock on her door, and wait, and wait. Then we go and get into our car, and start to back out and they call us and say, "Hey, we saw that you knocked on our door and we were just about to answer." So we park, get out and go talk to them. That whole thing took about 10 minutes. That's half a Netflix episode! Anyway, I digress. So we're waiting and they come out, and we start talking about the usual stuff; how's it going?, how's your reading and praying been? You haven't read today? *insert devastated face*. And then we're like, "So, when are we going to baptize you guys?" And Grant says, "I've been praying all day and asking God for a sign for me to get baptized, and asked for you guys to show up. And right as I thought that, you knocked." Daaaannnngggggg.

Anyway, that's what's been popping over here in Cali.
 

Cody

"If you gave all that you take, the weight would take it's toll and your skeleton would cave."

In Cali they disguise cell towers or whatever as palm trees. 

"Dats a big hill..."

I went on exchanges with Elder Waldron.

I made a cover for my scriptures. Then I sewed it on. Now my fingers hurt. #LeatherIsHard

We broke, but not broken, Froze, but not frozen

Hey, guys.
They're cleaning the carpets at the Stake Center where we usually email, so I'm going to make it fast since there are a bunch of Elders here waiting for computers and whatnot. This week was good. We had a kid come out with us from a neighboring ward that is waiting for his call to come. We were trying to get in with Grant and Gavin. We knocked on their door and they didn't answer. They were probably out for Spring Beak this week. Anyway, we were we saw this family moving into an apartment in the same parking lot, so we went and asked them if they needed help and they said yes. That never happens! People are always like, "Nah, bruh. We good, doe." But they said yes! So we helped them and they were actually looking for a new church, so we're going to meet with them this week.
I loved Conference. Elder Holland is always good. Everyone was really good.
Hit it hard this week, guys.

"We're broke, but not broken. Cold, but not frozen. Lost but not forgotten, we're kickin' the doors open."

Cody                                               

My recent convert from Moreno Valley came down to Lake Elsinore for conference. She's doing great and is on track to make it to the temple this coming January.

Got this from a member that fed the Elders Easter dinner. I love the Hashtag, it says #satanslayer love my elders! Only 10 more months.

Elder Felix and I moved to a brand new Apartment. It's dope. Rent? $1,260. 1 bedroom. Yep. Cali sucks for rent.  

Kitchen Looks like ours, only in Reverse.. counters are nicer too!

The Bedroom.. can you tell which bed is Cody's?

WE HAVE A GARAGE. THAT' S CRAZY FOR MISSIONARIES OUT HERE

Love My little #satanslayer  #10moremonths #lovemymissionaries!