Aight. People need to start coming to freaking church.

I have 7 investigators, and I had 0 at church. You don't have to be a missionary to realize THAT'S A PROBLEM. Needless to say, some people are getting dropped. But there has been progress. Mon'ia Post is going to get baptized on the 17th, since her adoption papers are being signed today. Then Thu Ha is getting baptized on that day as well. We worked our butts off this last week, only to fall short of standard by people not coming to church. That sucked, but we'll get them this week. Or kill them. Those are really the two options, I guess. We'll see when we get there. What else happened this week...hear about the Mayweather Paquaio fight. Heard it was dumb, though. We got training on how to weekly plan. Which reminds me, if I receive one more training on how to plan, Imma punch someone. Elders need to get their crap together. Anyway, Imma go get some cheap Costco food.
Peace,

Cody

"I'm usually on the other end when things start to break and things start to bend.
I'm usually on the other side, when love is a light switch and its glow slowly dies"

Picture Overload... Service Project.

 Cody tried to convince me that he pierced his ear... nice try!

 Throwing the couch off the Balcony.. Cody said it was still useable after that!

 The "alligator" they caught

"Just so we both understand, stay on your side of the fence." April 20, 2015

A couple months ago our President asked us to study the Christ like attributes in Preach My Gospel and he wanted us to choose an attribute that we could work on. I chose charity because I really hate people. Not a lot of people; like 30, 45 at most. That's not even tumor inducing, and it's mostly other missionaries. So I'm sitting in this interview with our mission president and we're talking about charity, and I have a sneaking suspicion that someone is listening in. I can't quite peg who it is, but I know that something is off. We finish up the interview, I commit to working on charity (this would be my down fall, more on that later) and leave. This was in my last area in Moreno Valley. When I got transferred to my current area, Wildomar, one of the first things I did was go around to meet everyone. The movers and shakers of the ward, the big players, in other words: the Bishop's wife. 

I heard somethings about her and how she has literally offended an upwards of 25 people in the ward. I don't know about you, but I feel like that is an amount of people you have to try to offend. That doesn't just happen. If it does, you are an insanely cantankerous person. A woman after my own heart. So, after 3 months of serving for in this ward, I grow a knot in my heart that I can't undo by myself. I find that this knot is forming whenever the Bishop's wife is talking. About anything. This woman could be talking about my most favorite thing, and I would find myself hating it. "Oh! I just love Saltine Crackers!" ,she would say gleefully as if she had just found a cure for cancer. And I would find myself think, "I bet you do, you cantankerous wench. I hope your blood pressure sky rockets." Then one morning I'm sleeping through my personal study (studying Lehi's dream, if you will) and "pondering" about the word charity. Then it occurs to me: the Lord was listening in on my on my interview with President! That is sooooooo like Him! He would listen in on my interview. This woman has found ways to piss me off about things I didn't even know I could be pissed about. Missions are funny that way. They put you in contact with people that you have no control over, and the solace that you can take from it is that if you want, you will never have to talk to that person ever again. I just hope that someone like her isn't my mother in-law. A couple nights ago she had the audacity to say, "If a family falls apart, I will guarantee that it's because the mother has given up." I mentally checked out at that point. It's like when you're playing a video game and you get a score so high it flips back to zero. My brain just shut down. And I'm here to tell you that if you close your eyes, it's really not that bad.
Yours truly,
Cody

Editors note: This is Cody, this is who he is, take it with a grain of salt. We all have those people in our lives that we wouldn't mind pushing down the stairs like a slinky!

"We're all paying heavy costs, so leave your speeches with your soapbox."

Hey, all. (That means you too, jerk. Who do you think you are thinking you're so special that you can glance at this and not read it? Foolio.)

This last week was good and busy. Taking over the other Elder's side of the ward means twice the work. I have so much to do that I don't know where to start. That's not a bad thing. Haha. I've never really had that in my mission. People just get rolled over in the schedule. 
Anyway, the twins dropped us this week. The essential basis for them dropping us is that they don't believe that Joseph Smith is a prophet and don't think that they can continue to investigate if they don't have that witness. It's pretty dumb. They're just not ready yet, they will be, but not today. We met with Thu Ha and she's on date for the 17th, It's been waayyyyy too long. She's been investigating since like October On Saturday day we did a service project for the city of Lake Elsinore. It was at this old run down Naval Academy. We cleaned a strip of highway right outside the academy. I was wearing a shirt, then my hoodie, then a green t-shirt that they gave us, then a florescent green safety vest on top of all that. You know, I always promised myself that I would never be that guy who wore a t-shirt over a hoodie, but lo and behold: there I was being that very thing that I swore I'd never be. But this time, I was wielding an industrial strength weed whacker, so they world was at my command at that point. Dummies. Shoulda known better. They'll learn next time. Which reminds me: THEY GAVE ME AN INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH WEED WHACKER! I broke it on a tree/weed thingy, though. A weed that was so advanced that it had a trunk. I was thinking, "Ya know what Elder Greenburg?" And responded out loud, "What, Elder Greenburg?" Only to think, "We could probably cut that weed down with this weed whacker. It's a weed and it needs to be whacked Godfather style. This is literally the tool that has been invented for this job." As it turns out, it could not be hewn down by mans gaudy inventions. But lets not focus on the things that I do incorrectly, those are besides the point. It was great. We found a bunny that was straight roadkill. It's head fell off. Someone said that we should try to reclaim its foot (from what? the grave? that's what resurrection is for, dummy!) for luck, until I pointed out that if it was dumb enough to get hit by a car, it probably wasn't that lucky to start with. And well, you know, rabies. It was sickkkkk (in both senses. English is an odd language). There was all this graffiti on the back of the academy that they were putting on. It was being put on by a professional graffiti collective. They were tight. #Letterheads 

Anyway, 
Peace.
Cody

"We all missed something big when we thought, 'Home is where the heart is.' Anatomy suggests to me it's something that I'm stuck with, thankfully. The door's still open but we've moved on. It doesn't need an address just to be considered a home."

Cali....in disguise

So this week was fun. There was a stake conference that Elder D. Zachary Smith of the Seventy presided over. His wife was so funny. She was such a good speaker. He was really good too. It was cool to see the Stake Presidency speak. They're all really good guys. Grant accepted a baptismal date for this coming Saturday, but he may not make it for a couple of things. Nothing big, just paperwork and stuff like that. It was so cool how he got his witness. We were coming home from dinner one night and Elder Felix said, "Let's stop by Grant and Gavin and see how they're doing. We haven't seen them yet this week." So we go over and we had a couple of potentials in that apartment complex that we ran into. We some return appointments. Then we go over to Grant and Gavin's. We knock and wait. And wait, and wait. ...and wait. They take forever answering the door. For real. One time we knocked on their door, waited, waited. Then decided that we'd go around the building and try a potential. We knock on her door, and wait, and wait. Then we go and get into our car, and start to back out and they call us and say, "Hey, we saw that you knocked on our door and we were just about to answer." So we park, get out and go talk to them. That whole thing took about 10 minutes. That's half a Netflix episode! Anyway, I digress. So we're waiting and they come out, and we start talking about the usual stuff; how's it going?, how's your reading and praying been? You haven't read today? *insert devastated face*. And then we're like, "So, when are we going to baptize you guys?" And Grant says, "I've been praying all day and asking God for a sign for me to get baptized, and asked for you guys to show up. And right as I thought that, you knocked." Daaaannnngggggg.

Anyway, that's what's been popping over here in Cali.
 

Cody

"If you gave all that you take, the weight would take it's toll and your skeleton would cave."

In Cali they disguise cell towers or whatever as palm trees. 

"Dats a big hill..."

I went on exchanges with Elder Waldron.

I made a cover for my scriptures. Then I sewed it on. Now my fingers hurt. #LeatherIsHard

We broke, but not broken, Froze, but not frozen

Hey, guys.
They're cleaning the carpets at the Stake Center where we usually email, so I'm going to make it fast since there are a bunch of Elders here waiting for computers and whatnot. This week was good. We had a kid come out with us from a neighboring ward that is waiting for his call to come. We were trying to get in with Grant and Gavin. We knocked on their door and they didn't answer. They were probably out for Spring Beak this week. Anyway, we were we saw this family moving into an apartment in the same parking lot, so we went and asked them if they needed help and they said yes. That never happens! People are always like, "Nah, bruh. We good, doe." But they said yes! So we helped them and they were actually looking for a new church, so we're going to meet with them this week.
I loved Conference. Elder Holland is always good. Everyone was really good.
Hit it hard this week, guys.

"We're broke, but not broken. Cold, but not frozen. Lost but not forgotten, we're kickin' the doors open."

Cody                                               

My recent convert from Moreno Valley came down to Lake Elsinore for conference. She's doing great and is on track to make it to the temple this coming January.

Got this from a member that fed the Elders Easter dinner. I love the Hashtag, it says #satanslayer love my elders! Only 10 more months.

Elder Felix and I moved to a brand new Apartment. It's dope. Rent? $1,260. 1 bedroom. Yep. Cali sucks for rent.  

Kitchen Looks like ours, only in Reverse.. counters are nicer too!

The Bedroom.. can you tell which bed is Cody's?

WE HAVE A GARAGE. THAT' S CRAZY FOR MISSIONARIES OUT HERE

Love My little #satanslayer  #10moremonths #lovemymissionaries!

"Give my best to the Salt Lake, baby. I've been missing her lately."

This week has been average. Nothing new going on. Grant and Gavin didn't come to church this week and instead went with their Grandma to her church, so that's a bummer. We had a talk with Thu Ha and realized that she wasn't taught correctly in the beginning and that's where a lot of her concerns come from. She keeps listening to her friends instead of the spirit.
We're moving today to a place that is literally the bottom of the mission. If we go too far South or miss our exit, we leave the mission. It's fun because the place is brand new with brand new beds and stuff like that. It'll be fun. I like two mans better.
Cody 

MY HAIR IS THINNING AND I CAN'T MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!!!

(I told him not to worry, my dad still had some on top.. he will too, and when he is old he can look like a troll like Grandpa DelMar did while waiting for his daughter to visit and give him a haircut)

Just dem kicks

 Elder Waldron cleaned the fridge.It was kinda gnar. 

My life in District Meeting

Talking with the zone leaders 

 Explaining new finding ideas with other missionaries

 We're moving today. This is the cleanest my desk has been. We're getting a brand new apartment. 

Let the world collapse on it's own behalf, it doesn't need our help

This week was up and down. Thu Ha didn't get baptized yesterday. She sent us a 3 page text us on Wednesday or so and laid out that she wasn't ready, that she felt pressured, and she's been baptized twice in the past and really wants to know if this is the true church. Noble reasoning, but at the same time we know that she knows it's true, and when God reveals true to you, you are expected to act on it.  She's been anti'd a bit and was given a book from the early 80's about how we're a cult and Joseph Smith said that God was a man and a Christ on His own planet before He was God and that we can be God and yadda, yadda, yadda. Same old, same old. She brought up that Joseph Smith wasn't prophesied in the Bible as a foreordained Prophet and that was a big concern from her until we pointed out that the Bible is pretty much broken up into two parts: the Old Testament which foretells of Jehovah's coming in the flesh and His dealings with His people, the Israelite's. The New Testament deals with the birth, ministry, and Atonement of Jesus Christ, who is Jehovah in the flesh, and the missionary efforts of His Apostles. In other words, the Bible is a collection of prophecies concerning Christ. It doesn't really talk about anything other than Christ and a ton of Prophets weren't mentioned by name. Anyway, she understood that, but the missionaries who taught her before us didn't do a very good job of setting expectations or really teaching her the basics.

Grant and Gavin are doing alright. We're trying to get them baptized and all that. They're just being sixteen year old kids. 

On Saturday I got to go back to my greenie area in Woodcrest and see Riley, Lexi, and Steven Bishopp get baptized. I worked with them for 7 1/2 months, my whole time in Woodcrest. I honestly thought that I wouldn't see it happen. I hoped, but was afraid that it just wouldn't happen. When I started teaching them, Sister Bishopp wasn't pregnant. Now all they have to do is get the dad, Steve. He's so cool. It's just awesome to see how the Lord prepares people and how much He's involved in their lives. They're just a great family.

"I'm just trying to say the way schools need teachers, the way Kathie Lee needed Regis, that's the way I need Jesus."

The Bishopp family

Sister Michaelson and I. She came to the baptism just to see me. She's great.

Steve Bishopp. He's so dope. Has sleeves of tattoos. He was in a motorcycle wreck a couple of months ago.

In Cali it's legal for motorcycles to split lanes rapidly, especially in bumper to bumper traffic. He was lane splitting and a guy in a crappy car just pulled out of a lane and clipped him. His shoulder got a messed up and he was worried that the guy didn't have insurance. Turns out the guy that clipped him owns a Ferrari dealership. Lucky. Everything was taken care of and he got to spend more time with his kids. 

Riley Bishopp and the photo bomb!

Lexi Bishopp. She's a punk rock girl, doe. She's trying to go to Warped Tour and she's only 12. Her parents told her no. She should...probably stay away for a couple more years. Hahaha. 

I sure do love my mini DelMar.  I love my Elders and how different they both are, but have the same goal in mind! I am truly blessed to be their mama.  #Lovemyboys!

Week 2 of kidney stone in the stead thereof

This week was hard. Nothing got done because we were trying to figure out what to do with Elder Felix so that I could go out an work and a lot of the time we were just chilling at home waiting for him to pass his kidney stone. So our numbers this week were just terrible. I expect a call later tonight from AP McConkie asking what the freak was going on. It's funny Preach My Gospel teaches us on page 10 that we're not suppose to compare ourselves to other missionaries, and that in the end numbers don't matter as long as you're trying your hardest, which is 100% true. But it's hard to tell people that when you have a bad week and get a call and told to do better. It's just annoying. 
Thu Ha didn't get baptized yesterday because she wanted her daughter to be to her baptism. The only real reason we moved it was because I felt the Spirit to tell me that we should move it a week to the 22nd. We want want her non-member daughter to be there at her baptism because that would greatly increase her daughter's interest in the church and may even lead to her own baptism. She was originally going to get baptized on April 5, but that was way far out. She's been meeting with missionaries since about November. She should have been baptized before I even got into the area. We might even drop her, because if she thinks that she can just keep pushing it off, she will and we'll either never get baptized or it will be when it's most convenient for her. Heads up, Thu Ha. GOD DOESN'T DO THINGS WHEN THEY'RE CONVENIENT FOR YOU. THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT A SACRIFICE AND BRINGS BLESSINGS. Elder Jeffery R. Holland taught: "I am convinced that [membership] is not easy because salvation is not a cheap experience. Salvation never was easy. We are The Church of Jesus Christ, this is the truth, and He is our Great Eternal Head. How could we believe it would be easy for us when it was never, ever easy for Him? It seems to me that [members] have to spend at least a few moments in Gethsemane. [Members] have to take at least a step or two toward the summit of Calvary". It's just hard to see people not get that even when you've taught it the most plain way you can. It's hard because people out here having been halfheartedly been going to church their whole lives. They've been living the Gospel to their understanding and that understanding is deeply rooted in them, so it's hard for them to wrap their head around being asked to take more steps, be more committed, make real sacrifices. Same with Grant and Gavin. Their mom has pretty much given us full permission to teach them and baptize them, but they're just not sure and aren't willing to take steps to be sure about it. 
So this week might be a drop week where we drop our entire investigator pool. It take a lot of faith, but it sometimes needs to be done.

Cody

I'm not counting the grays on my head, I'm calling them silver linings instead

This week was...interesting. First and foremost, Elder Felix and I were in the ER last night because we thought his appendix was about to explode in a manner that would put Michael Bay to shame. Turns out that he just had a kidney stone in the stead thereof. So he's been trying to pee out a grain of salt 3mm big. If I could sum up Elder Felix's trip to the ER, it would be, "Shut up! Give me morphine!" Like so: 

"Hey, Elder Felix. Would you like some water?"  

"No! I have to pee! Shut up! Give me morphine!"
He was soooooo high. It was great. He was twerking up a storm. We told him that all that twerking was what gave him a kidney stone and was said, "There's no scientific proof of that!"
Like that, but for 3 hours. He still hasn't passed it. They gave him a jug and a mesh filter. He's going to mail it home to his mom. Other than that, nothing happened this week. Thu Ha is going down this Sunday, though. That's good. 

Cody

We moved a couch into our district meeting, cuz screw plastic chairs. 

A drag queen that Elder Mall taught. 

Elder Mall and the Homies.

I am so blessed to have this kid as mine as well.  He isn't a mama's boy like Jared, but his love runs deep.  I also watched him go through the refiners fire. The Savior is so proud of us when we use the Atonement.  That's what he died for. #Atonement #lovemymissionaries #blessedtobetheirmama!